Anecdote of the Week - Peer Pressure

With rain in the forecast today made it pretty easy for me to reflect since I will not be riding the trails today.

My Anecdote of the week goes back to 1986. Peer Pressure.

That is what got me into trouble. It was the first time that I can say that I gave into peer pressure. In the mid 80’s all I heard from the Nancy Regan was “Just say No”. For me it wasn’t drugs, they got me to steal.

My mom had caught me stealing about 3 years before and I caught the beat down of a lifetime as a result. I remember having no interest in getting held down by my older brother and whip with a belt. That is a dirty south style of whoopings. And if the crime was really bad, then you would get the most feared weapon for a offender, “Da Switch”. And what’s worst is you would have to go and get your own from the backyard. Now, I had gotten the belt enough to have a routine. Just put the arm out and the belt will wrap around it, and then you can just ride it out. But a switch was a totally different monster. It was small, thin, and agile. It is a small tree branch with the leaves taken off. Oh! You better not go get one too small, because if your mom has to get one, she’s gonna whip you up the wall. I see the switch and I'm not nervous at all. I do my normal routine in putting my arm out to do the “Wrap around”

That didn't go the way I wanted it to go.

First let me say, that I was not one of those kids that was abused, I deserved every one of my whoopings. The stronger and bigger I got, the whoopings became less, so she looked for other ways to punish me. But that whooping was the mother of all whooping and it left an impression on me.

Ever since the major beatdown I had sworn off stealing and just opted to ask my mother for money instead. We weren’t doing bad on money, I think I stole for the thrill of bragging who had the most goodies once you get down the street. I had started playing table tennis the second semester of 7th grade, so this would be the first summer that I would have primarily one activity every day. In fact, some of the guys I used to get in trouble with were involved in table tennis, and whenever they went out to do dirt, I made myself disappear.

We played table tennis in the back warehouse of the actual company that the table tennis business was in. So once the summer came I was free to go across town and play table tennis during business hours, then once the business closed my coach would play with us, then take us home. This happened pretty much every day. We were not that sure how it happened, but the table tennis association gave a grant to our coach to pay himself to coach us. He turned around and offered that money to us to earn our own money to go to tournaments.

We would look at the directions in Japanese and somehow figure out how to put together table tennis tables, barriers, etc. We also filled orders, put labels on mailouts, and cleaned up the building. So we were earning our own money to play tournament with the help of my coach and his family I later found out. We would play the morning session, then during the 2 hour lunch break we would go to White Rec Swimming Pool, then they would hit up the grocery store.

If you speak or understand slang, Hit up the Grocery Store means you would bum rush the store with 10 kids, and 6 of them would steal. 4 of them would act suspicious to draw out the po po’s, and the others would get snacks. Little Debbie’s snacks, crackers, cheese, peanut butter, cool-aid, and sugar would be the normal list they would get. For the entire summer I just sat out the local Big Star, while the crew would rob them for about $8.00 worth of snacks. The thought of stealing had me having flashbacks.




So I would tell them I’m on the bench. I wouldn’t steal, but I would indulge in the spoils. I would always be given a hard time for not stealing, but the guys loved how I mixed the peanut butter and jelly and made cracker sandwiches. As the summer came to a close we all pretty much had the money for the trip from working at the table tennis club/business. We also had to complete our training, and physical training before you could qualify to even go to the famous Regency Mall Tournament in Augusta. No one wanted to spend any of their money they had earned, so they kept stealing and I kept watching.


At the end of the summer I pretty much got an ultimatum from the entire group. I needed to steal something, or I was not going to get any of the spoils. What was worst was I could have simply took $2.00 out of my account, had a happy meal and the situation would have been closed. But that peer pressure was a blimp, and I didn’t want to lose this core group of friends.

I had on a big shirt, so they told me to steal the crackers. I had not been in this Big Star, so I had no idea where the crackers were. So I walked around looking all lost, drawing attention to myself. I saw the crackers, then I made a pass to see if anyone was watching. I walked down the next isle, then when I came back, I grabbed them, walked to end of the isle and put them in the front of my shorts. Now, I’m walking around looking like a pregnant 14yr old kid.

The next thing I know I’m being grabbed by this “Mens In Black “ type guy in a black suit. I get taken to the security room where they show the camera on me. It shows me looking all around like a rookie, and I see that I’m being stalked by the special agent Men In Black dude. They call my mom at work, and she has to pick me up. They explain to her that I had been caught stealing, and I had another flashback to that beatdown from 3 years before, and I was getting ready to take my licks right there in the security room. But my mom found it comical as they showed her the video tape because it was no way that I was getting out of there as I just looked like I was going to steal.

They tell her that it is a good chance the Big Star is going to press charges, and I will most likely have to appear in court to do some community service. I walk out of the store and all my boys are out there, and one of them say, “Where’s the crackers, Ni%&A? I look at him and give him the gester that I was going to get my head cut off.

Reggie can’t hold me down to catch a beatdown because he just went into the Marines. Phillip is older than me, but I’m stronger than him. I know my mom wasn’t going to get her boyfriend to hold me down, as he wasn’t that close to me to do that. I got home and she just prepared dinner, and all the time I was waiting to be told to get my switch so she could get to whooping. But she said nothing, nothing at all. As a matter of fact, she was nicer than normal. That was a Saturday, and on Sunday I didn’t play table tennis as I went to church. I had actually prayed that I would not get a whooping, and I didn’t get one. “COOL”, I thought, I need to holla at the big man more often.

The realization came to me the next day that I was not going to get off scott free. When my mom was getting ready to go to work, I said goodbye and that I was going to the club to play. She said, “You are going to sit in this house and tape the soap operas for me. No table tennis for you, as that is the wrong group”.

Damn, she cut a brother off at the freaking knees. I had to video-tape Young and the Restless, Body and the Beautiful, As the World Turns, and Guilding Light for the rest of the summer. I couldn’t tape it and leave. I mean I was told to stop the tape during the commercials, so I couldn’t fudge it.

For 3 weeks, I went through the most torment that I think I had ever experienced. She got me! She knew I had discovered a love affair with table tennis. I actually got into the soap operas because I had no choice. I missed the mall tournament in Augusta, but I got a play by play when they got back.

I was missing out, and I needed to do something to get back in. So I started cleaning up, acting nice, and being very cordial. Ever couple of days I would ask my mother if I could go and play, and she would just say “NO”, and it was end of discussion. I decided that I need to show her how far I was willing to go to get out of Prison of taping and watching the damn soap operas.

The revolution first started with me taking naps, or going to bed with my racket on my chest. She found it funny, so I had to take it up a notch. Next, I would come to the dinner table and lay my racket beside my plate only for my mother to slap it off the table. Great! I’m testing her spirit, but I was not breaking it. I then started playing table tennis videos on the TV and I would practice my strokes in the living room trying my best to make as much noise as possible. I was trying to burn a hole in the carpet with my movements.

That got under her skin, but no keys to freedom yet. I needed some help for this next one, so I called up my best friend Greg D that was playing at the time. We lined up my mother cookbooks across the kitchen table and Greg and I would go at it right there. It was nothing worst than the ball bouncing behind the washing machine or into the spaghetti my mother was cooking. The last thing I would do was I would say the name of my racket and rubber over and over. It didn’t have a name yet as it was just a code. I would say EE5, on Sriver and Sriver. That drove her up the wall, but she stoodfast in her punishment.

I broke down when Greg told me they were having a Car Wash and then were going to take the proceeds and go to the buffet at Pizza Inn. I got off the phone with Greg, and I had to think of a plan as it was Friday night and the car wash and pizza buffet was Saturday morning. I couldn’t think of anything, so I decided to just do a “Prison Break” and pay for it later.

On Saturday mornings my mother picks my grandmother up from the dentist office where she works and takes her home. That means I can leave right after her because my mother won’t be coming back in same direction. So as soon as she left I put on my socks, grabbed my racket and left. I knew I would get in trouble, but I would get to enjoy the car wash and pizza before. I was running like I had stole something, again. I was out on the main streets and I needed to get to some back streets so I could hide on my way across town.

I just need to get pass the train tracks, then I can start cutting through neighborhoods. I’m a block away and I can see freedom right in front of me. If I’m going to get caught, this would be the place because I can't jump the ditch on each side of the tracks. I get to the track, and I cross them, and I speed up my run. I hear a horn beep.

I look up and it’s my mother beeping the horn, and waving her hands out the window. I stop running as my mother practically pulls into oncoming traffic for me. “Get you black ass in the car right now”. I was so stunned that I just got in the car with a shocked look on my face. How did I get caught, she never comes back this way. She actually was taking my grandmother back to our house, and she was going to let me off punishment since it was 3 weeks to the day that I got caught.

So my mother just simple said, “You just added 21 days more”. Every time you mess up, you are going to add another 21 days to it. So get some “Act Right” in you, and you can go back and play. Remember, you mess up, you stay in the house.

The other bad news, was my name was in the paper along with my cousin for getting caught stealing at Big Star. The good news is Big Star went out of business, so there were never any charges brought up on me. Now she had me by the ping pong balls with regards to my behavior. She did abuse it a couple of times. Like having my coach come in the house and wash the dishes with me before I could leave and go to practice.

The lesson was not to give into to peer pressure, Ever. That is why I do most of my training by myself, and it is very seldom that I will call someone. I normally jump in and sit in the back if there is a big group anyway. When fools start acting up and smashing the pace, I let them go 95% of the time. I think trying to keep up when things get provoked is a form of peer pressure. How many times have you let someone sucker you into going all out, especially when you did not want to do it.

With regards to table tennis I have essentially spent my adult career training in remote 3rd world countries by myself. I like the environment like how Rocky did it in Rocky IV when he went to Russia. I love the solitude. Most of my peers keep up with me now by reading my blog, as I have pretty much took myself out of the XC group for the time being. I’m not naturally this way, but I have disciplined myself to train in solitude. I think I'm going to need it when I'm at Santos though. I think that doing the opposite in a lot of cases makes you a more well-rounded person.

So that is my lesson on staying focused and determined to not let anyone or any group twist you into a posture that you know does not work for you, EVER.

Pacer Out!