Anecdote of the Week - My bike

That is what I said when Shawn Hancock rode off on my Schwinn bike. I had taunted him, and it ended up making him play way above his level and he won my bike. Not only did he win the bike, he won the admiration of the crowd by beating down the bully on center court. The lesson for me was, “Don’t bull the small guy”.

I had missed this tournament the year before, as a result of “Peer Pressure”, and I made sure that I was a shoe-in as I did the proper training, improved my level, and stayed out of trouble. The “Regency Mall” tournament was the premiere Table Tennis Tournament in the south as it was played in the mall in Augusta GA. If you won the junior event, Pete May would walk you down to the department store, take you the recreation section, and you could pick out your own bike. Most would ride them right back to the center of the mall while people applauded. I could see myself already popping a wheelie, so that bike was mine. Plus, I was sick of tired of running across town to play table tennis. I could use more of my time playing if I got to the club 25 minutes earlier every day.

It was a nice retreat to play a competition in the mall. You could smell food from the food court, and the sharp smell of finger nail polish from the nail salon at the same time. It also was nice to see cute girls walking around the mall with their mothers, which was a nice retreat from what we normally saw at tournaments. Most of the girls in table tennis where tomboyish and very athletic, and it was refreshing to see some cute petit faces.

We packed into the Butterfly Van for the 300 mile trip to Augusta, and we checked into the Red Roof Inn once we got there. As soon as we got into the room, someone turned on the TV and the movie “Red Sonja” was playing. That was the movie that starred the women that dated Flavor Flav before he did “Flavor of Love” Eddie, clearly the most comedic of the group started repeating lines from the movie and “ Sonja, the Eye”, was the line that had everyone in stitches. He then started saying lines from Bruce Lee movies. “Can you tell me what teacher died of”, from “Chinese Connection”, and it had all of us cramping. Then he went to “Enter the Dragon”, when he said, “What was that, and exhibition. I said emotional content, not anger”. Then, “Man you come right out of a comic book. I would all of a sudden like to leave your island”.

After the comedy cooled down someone turned to Rocky III, and that was when it hit me. I need to be like Clubber Lang, who was played by Mr. T. He was domineering, and a physical beast. Plus, he has some of the greatest lines to drive his point home. So while everyone was turning in for the night, I kept watching the movie. I even wrote down every line that I thought I could use for the tournament.

The next morning I kept thinking about how I would use the lines, and give them life based on the situation. My first match was Clifford Roberts, the tournament director’s nephew. And man, I didn’t care, I had my plan together. When we got to the table I looked at him, and said, “Dead Meat”, and he gave me this puzzled look on his face. I dominated him, and tortured him at the same time. It was so overwhelming that my boys were asking me what in the world was I doing. I ignored them and stayed in my zone. I had 2 other meaningless matches, and decided it was not worth me giving out the great lines, if the level was not up to par to make a point.

In the semi-finals I had to play Shawn Hancock, a scrappy, small 13 yr old that chews the floor to win every point. This would be a great match to display all my lines. We got the clipboard from the control desk, and as soon as we got on the court I looked at him and said, “Gonna Bust you Up”, and he gave the same puzzled look as Clifford and for a moment he thought I was going to fight him. No! I wasn’t going to fight him, I was going to fight him with words just like how Clubber Lang got into Rocky’s head the first fight.

I’m much better than Shawn, but he can play above his level so I wasted no time putting the smash down. I hit a ball pass him and it went out of the court, and when he came back I said, “You shoulda never came back”. The better I played the more I taunted, and the more I taunted the more Shawn lost his focus. I hit another ball out of the court, and when he came back in the court I said, “I gotta a lot of mo”, just like Clubber Lang said it. I was clicking on all cylinders with the timing.

I win the first game by a huge margin and I when we get ready to start game 2 I said, “ I will destroy any man who tries to take what I got. What I got is in Montgomery Ward. That is my bike. I get a huge lead, but I’m running out of lines. So when I hit a ball out of the court it goes into Chick-fil-a and I yell, “Bring me back a chicken strips”. He comes back, and I say, “I’m gonna beat you worst than I did last game”.

At this point Shawn is practically in tears, as I’m embarrassing him in front of his home crowd since he lives in Augusta. He is visibly holding back his tears, so I thought. He was actually mustering up the courage to face the bully. At this point I’m waiting for him to lie down and give me the win, so I stopped trying so hard. But he is going up the side of the mountain in terms of inspiration, and I’m back sliding like it’s nobody’s business. Somehow he wins that game, and there is a huge momentum shift. He goes into game three with the support of the crowd, his family, his coaches, and the peers from the Boys and Girls club. And I have my “Clubber Lang” fake personality that has been reduced to a fart in the wind. Game 3 was a landslide victory for Shawn has he was totally in the zone, and I couldn’t even find Brian Pace. My teammates looked in amazement as I was taken down by this kid that I should never, EVER lose to. Shawn support crew lifted him up like a phoenix rising from the ashes and he beat back the big bad bully, just like Rocky did to Clubber. I guess I forgot about how Rocky actually beat Clubber Lang in the end.

Shawn was riding so high that he completely destroyed the other kid in the finals, to take the title. And Pete did what he always did. He walked Shawn down to Montgomery Ward, and he came back riding on a brand new Schwinn and the thunderous applauses of the crowd. I just sat there feeling all defeated, and happy that I actually didn’t win for having such a bad attitude.

On the ride back home, I heard every single line that I used during the tournament, and every one got a huge laugh. Pretty soon I started quoting the lines myself. My coach was like, “Wow, these guys can quote the lines from movies like nobody’s business. He was playing the tournament also, and he normally doesn’t watch us closely. If he had known that I taunted someone into playing the match of their life, and they had rode off with the bike as a result he probably would have been a little grumpy at me. That attitude was not something that he promoted, or put up with.

I got home, and it took me a couple of days to detox from the weekend of trying to act like a bully. When my brother Reggie asked me why I didn’t have a trophy this time around, I explained to him how my plan had backfired, and he just laughed and laughed. He then explained to me that if I was a table tennis player, and it was an Asian sport, then I must act the part. If you are going to beat someone right in front of you like that, then your approach has to be more “Ninja” like than “Loud American”. He then showed me this movie called American Ninja, and they used all kinds of tools, but never fought you face to face. It was almost comical, as he used what little knowledge he had to help me learn the lesson.

It was important for me to have this experience early, because had I won using that tactic I have no idea what I would have become, especially if I had rode off with that bike. So it was important for me to lose. And I have learned a lot from that experience. I learned to create a game plan without making it personal. I learned that if you taunt some competitors, you just might provoke them. I also learned that in the sports, you are making an attempt to conquer a style of your opponent, and not a person. So if you really want to put the knife in and twist it, then it’s better to compete from a logistical stand point. Because if you can systemically pull their game apart and expose their weaknesses, then there is nothing they can do to stop you.

But the main theme of my experience is “Don’t Bully the Little Guy, he just may ride off with your bike.

Pacer Out!