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Monday, November 30, 2009

One Less Dude

There is one less “Dude” on my “Friends List” for 2010. I have one word for this blog entry, and that is “Scandalous”.

This is going to be a long blog entry, because it is going to showcase exactly how 2 different people think so differently, and because of that, it is better off that they aren’t in the same air. For my life I have very simple principles and I stick to them.

When I started writing my blog in 2007 I was really happy to be able to write about my cycling. I was racing on the road, and mtn biking and so much was happening that I really wanted to write about it. Plus, a lot of my peers from all over the country were doing the same and I was inspired. The only thing that I learned from that year of writing was “No More Name Dropping”. What that meant was to not drop a name unless it was absolutely necessary, or absolutely comfortable. I trained and mentioned so many of the same names so much that I even got bored of it. When I moved to NC in March of 2008, I basically didn’t write for 1 year. When I got back to Florida in April of 2009 I decided that if I were to get back to writing I would go out of my way to not name drop if I could help it. And that new detail is the very reason that I’m writing this post and I have One Less Dude in my life to worry or think about.

I learned something from my mother early on and she said, “If you can’t find a solution, then you never had a problem”, and I use that to this day. Instead of coexisting with a person that you don’t see eye to eye with on any issues, it’s best to realize you don’t have a problem. This is a North Pole vs. South Pole issue, with no way of meeting at the equator. I’m going to say right now that “These are the truest words I have ever wrote”. If you don’t know what quality person I am, you will after this entry.

This all got started because I didn’t mention his name. So for the sake of continuing this same standard, let’s not mention his actual name, but I will now call him “Dude”. At the end of this post, “Dude” is going to be famous. He is going to be so famous, that he is going to be “Infamous”. I am going to do more than just mention his name. I’m going to give him a new name. This is how you deal with a person that does not have the same intelligence level as you. You rip them up using words instead of action. You show them that they are in “First Timer Category” when it comes to this kind of debating. That is why Dude has read my blog for over 2 years. He reads my words. “Dude”, I entertain you by telling my stories. Now, I’m going to entertain everyone else by making
you the story, “Dude”.

To explain how the relationship got here I really do have to backtrack 2 years to fully bring you into the story.

I let one of my buddies read this blog entry, and he said, “Man with the cameras you got, you should shoot this as a movie”. This post is going to go back and forth, and mention people’s name that are completely innocent, they are just here to drive the story. From my point of view I will let you know who is there to drive the story, or who is going under the bus. So here goes.

I’m honestly not sure what I would have called “Dude” before this. I considered myself friends with all the Expert Riders because we race so much together, and often see each other on the road. You know when a person speaks to you in a way that let’s you know that he is doing it to be nice, not genuine. That is how I would honestly describe “Dude”. This greeting never felt warm, and for that I just lost interest in speaking to him, and reverted to speaking to him only when he spoke to me.

In Table Tennis I considered myself friends if I have been out with you outside of training, or I knew your mother, or family. That standard does not apply to cycling so it is safe to say that most of the guys in cycling are training buddies. I have hugged & kissed enough wives and girlfriends on the cheek to know whom my friends are.

I considered “Dude” more of a person that I would ride with if we were out at the trails, but I don’t ever remember calling him to meet me to train. Him not riding from 2004 to 2007 also made it easy as I never really saw him.

I posted my “Season Over” blog entry, and it got some hits. Some people emailed me personally, some people posted comments. The entry was really about the spirit of people, which I felt should be bigger than egos. Here is a great example: In Race #6 a racer in my category had a problem passing another rider, and a conversation ensued while the race was going on. Nothing negative, but after the race the rider that would not let the other rider by came to him and apologize like a man. See, that is what my blog entry was about. It was about having a good spirit even in the heat of competition. It was about caring for your fellow competitor as a person as well as a cyclist.

As I said before this spark was ignited because I didn’t mention his name in the “Season Over” blog entry. I referred to him as a ZMotion Rider. If you are interested in knowing who this “Dude” is you will have to do your own research. If not, you can sit back and read my side of the end of “Dude”. When I didn’t mention his name I really thought I was protecting his name as he was/is good friends with the rider that crashed into me, or so I thought.

What came next was a debate that happened over “Text Messaging”. Can you believe that? What a 2nd hand way to pick an argument with a person. I got into a 1 hr debate texting back & forth, and the matter could have been cleared up with a 2-minute conversation. I was eating dinner with a table tennis buddy of mine from New York, and “Dude” texted, “Sorry about your crash, but I find it funny that you didn’t mention my name especially when I let you borrow my $2600.00 wheels for 2 days. I was first thinking, “Are you sorry for my crash, or are you upset? Because they came in the same sentence.” I was considering buying some wheels from this dude, but I instead decided to by the Spark 10. So I didn’t feel like the favor was that big.

My boy said, “Why is your friend picking a fight with you over text messaging”. I said “Friend”. He is not my friend, because my friend would have called me. Now, he is just some “Dude”, for real.

I text back, “ I didn’t mention your name because I know you are friends with the crasher. I thought it was over, so I went back to eating dinner with my boy. In came another text that, “I had mentioned 2 other names and not his”. I texted back that those were “Teammates”, and I was protecting your name, AGAIN. Then I thought it was really over.

About 5 minutes went by, I got text back with some venom. He hit me with the “Hot Fire” man. It went, “Whatever! You are a joke, your blog is a joke. Instead of calling it SpeedPacer, you should call it “SlowPace”. Now, you have another person to hate”. When you write something like that you are pulling a Thelma and Louise, and going straight off the cliff. There ain’t no coming back from this”. My boy then says, “He is swinging at your ping pong balls. I then said, “Dude” has a lot of free time, right?

My boy went on to say, “You are being attacked on your Blackberry playa?” And I say, “I think I am”, and we both laughed. He goes on to ask, “Is he doing this because he is afraid to confront you?” I say, “No”. He loves confronting me, but it does seem cowardly. Now, I have been in trouble for not feeding the dog, or leaving the TV on all night in the living room, or taking too much of the cover at night. But nothing has been bad enough to even get attacked by my wife over the text message. I was a little taken back because I thought I had clarified it, plus this was such an impersonal way to attack someone. But this guy was raging, and he wanted to fight, and what I was texting him back seemed like I was retreated, so he went there to stir up the pot. I put the phone down and explained a 2007 flashback that might explain dude’s “Passive Aggressive” behavior to my boy.

It’s the 2007 FSC, #2 Race, Razorback, Team Time Trail. I am the Team Leader for Active Cycles and we had gone into the Team Time Trial after B& J. I am leading the team through the Trail, and trying my best to keep all 5 guys together. We come up on a section and “Dude” is screaming at the top of his lungs at Matt Hammond, and the B&J Team is in full-blown “Implode Mode”. Apparently Matt was pushing the riders behind him verbally to pick up the pace, and “Dude” lost it. Why didn’t Oscar and Adam get into it with Matt? It’s because he is the only one on that team that is “Passive Aggressive”.

That in fighting only motivated us because I thought we would have enough to catch them. They ripped us by 3 minutes and my team all agreed that the fact that they were fighting only motivated us because we were riding as a unit. 2 years later he was unleashing the same rage in the form of a text message. After I explained that to my boy, he asked, “How much money does he make in cycling”? I say, “Nothing”. He then laughs, and looks at the waiter and says, “Give him the bill”.

When I get home I remember my proverb, “If you can’t find a solution, you don’t have a problem”. We don’t have a problem. This guy is angry because I didn’t mention his name in my blog. The only solution for me is to write what he wants. That’s not going to happen, because this is my blog, and I can write whatever the hell I want to write. We aren’t on the same page at all, and we never have seen eye to eye. There is no solution, so there is no problem. What do you say to a person that is angry at something that you are not? You send them on their way, but not without playing them like X-box 360.

I write, “ No need for the insults. If you are angry, that is where it is going to stay. I’m not going there. Good Luck with the rest of the season”.

And that was from the heart. I do want “Dude” to do well in the season. I do wish him the best of luck. All he wanted to do is pick some fight over the phone because he is feeling overly sensitive about his name being left out. Now, if “Dude” where paying attention in Psychology Class, after a person has been Aggressive, the downside is going back to Passive, especially if the other person does not give them the response they want. Having no engagement will make the person feel helpless and they will end up having to retreat after feeling guilty for launching an attack on a person that won’t take the bait. As you can see, I was paying attention in Psychology Class, and he fed right into the set up.

I get a text back and it reads, “I don’t hate you, I think you are a good rider. I think you are overly sensitive, and keep bringing up LaRue. I also think you were wrong about Matt H. If I didn’t know you I would think you are Lance Armstrong.” “I’m overly sensitive?” Me, overly sensitive? After a guy puts a hole I my leg I basically go on my blog and say that I’m frustrated that he wouldn’t acknowledge that he hurt another person. I dealt with it very intelligently. I could have gone to his house in Boca and hit him with the “Patronus”. There are ways to act overly sensitive, and I’m sure that my behavior does not qualify, but I will tell you what does. Dude verbally attacking his own teammate in a race and practically saying he would rip his head off. That is acting over more than sensitive. Attacking another one of his teammates on a road ride (Adam G), and crashing into my boy Wes and hurting him is acting more than sensitive. And attacking a person he called a friend by way of text message is just another way of acting out on being overly sensitive. “Dude” is the only person in cycling that is acting out because of your insecurities. This “Dude” is not thinking before he is texting. I’m not the person attacking in a text message. I’m doing the same thing I have always done. I have been thought about my feeling without betraying them. There is nothing that important for me to send a person a text message. If the person were my friend, I would talk to directly to them. But, I do want to take the time talk about what he wrote.



Wow, let me dissect this text. First of all, did you notice the retreat from Aggressive back to Passive? Of course you did. That is the 1st sign of weakness. This type of weakness is more mental than physical. Because he will fight someone, but he is not strong enough to go inside himself to be stronger. For everything I have wrote on this blog, I have thought long hard as well as if I should write it. If you are going to write about someone’s character it is important to be able to back it up, and to stand by it. For everything that I have wrote that talks about any person’s character, (mines included), I will standby. And here is “Dude” taking his statement back. Weakness!

Now, he brought up 2 innocent people. One of these people is going under the bus, and one of them is going to be seated nicely in the bus.

Here is where you can tell the difference in a selfish view, and a worldly view. OK, Let’s talk about LaRue. Like I said before we had problems as soon as I moved to the Expert Category, and he is not going to address anything with me. I talked about it to his face, and he never said anything to me. Want to know why? Because, I was telling the truth. I even said something to him, I said something to him right in front of Dave. He doesn’t respect me enough to let me pass, even when I was fast enough to pass him and put 9 minutes on him. Our relationship started this way, and ended this way. There was no repair or recovery. It just stayed with him having that attitude. I think anyone would lose respect for a competitor with that attitude. I stand by it, and I will never retract that statement. The statue of limitations has passed on repair than, but not enough to still talk about it. Dude, brought it up, and I brought you back into the drama so you would be up to speed.

I send a text back to “Dude” that in my experience, LaRue has bad sportsmanship, and “Dude responded very selfishly by saying, “He trains hard, goes out of his way to finish every race, and I wish I was as fast as him.” He goes on to say “ I have raced with him many times, and “I” have never had that problem.

OK, let me start by saying that LaRue is not a bad person, but I was given some vital information from Enzo when I turned Expert, and he said, “Don’t ever ask him to pass LaRue, just make your move”. Whether or not he was a bad person is not in question, but what is, or what was at the time, was his judgement. He is just using very, very bad judgement once his ego is let loose in the race. I talked about it many times on this blog, because it has happened “MANY TIMES” in the races. It has happened to many riders and this issue is bigger than Brian Pace. It is an issue of Sportsmanship. It is an issue of respect for your fellow competitors. My view is not that of my own, it was that of my competitors as a single voice at the time. Everyone in the Category had a problem with him at some time. Dude was only talking about his own view, and that is very selfish. What is most telling is dude has had the least amount of experience racing with LaRue because he only raced with him 1 season. Try 4 seasons dude, then you would be riding to a different tune. Dude got to the category after I had already called out and dogged out LaRue on my blog for 6 months.

What forms an opinion about a person is how they respond after the call out. Once I called him out in 2007 you would think we would talk about it as men. Nope, he went out of his way to ignore me. OK, he is that type, and I can understand that type of behavior, but I don’t agree with it. Some guy publically rips you on his blog that is popular. You are left defensively because you can’t go to your peers because you know he is right. So you ignore the guy every chance you get. This is what lets you know I’m right, “HE NEVER APPROACHED ME”………………………..EVER! NOW THAT’S GANGSTA.

Here is another incident I had that actually involved “Dude” and LaRue. 2008 Hospice 100, and I’m about to do a preride lap with “Dude”, and LaRue shows up. I go into after “Dude” and for the entire 1st lap LaRue is screaming over my helmet to Dude the entire time. He is going out of his way to let me know, “Pacer, you ain’t crap to me”. Again, I understand the behavior, I just don’t agree with it. So when you hear me talk about LaRue, you now understand why I really don’t have anything nice to say about him, and it’s a total of all these small incidents.

I can speak freely about LaRue because I’m not friends with him. He is not on my email list, his number is not programmed in my phone, and he is not on my facebook. As far as I know he could have gone to “Passer’s Anonymous” to rid himself of his inability to let people pass him. What I know is he never made an attempt to straighten it out with me, and that is what we need in this world. It’s people that aren’t afraid to repair a relationship without feeling like they are loosing face. It’s safe to say who is under the bus. Now, let’s get to the passenger that is safely in the bus.

Ok, on to my boy Matt Hammond that has gotten pulled into the conversation for what reason, I don’t know? If I remember, it was “Dude” that did the verbal attack on Matt H. I have never had a conversation or confrontation with Matt. What I realized now was dude was picking selfish debates with me back in 2007, but I just didn’t see it.

It’s the 2007 FSC, and Active Cycles is in 3rd place, and B & J is in 4th place for the Team Category. I say on my blog that all the Active Cycles riders were on the Active Cycles Team in 2006. I go on to say that B&J bought the service of Matt Hammond and Bob McCarty to Twilight for them. Now that was a little friendly smack talk between 2 local teams in the hunt for Team Points. “Dude” comes to me at the Gainesville Race and says, “You are wrong about Matt Hammond, he is riding for B&J. What he did not do was say that Bob was lending himself to your team even though he his outfitted with Cannondale from head to toe. So he selfishly talked about Matt, but left out Bob. This all was friendly on my part. I have no problem with Matt. And Bob, man, he was my main training partner for all of 2007, and his name was mentioned on my blog 25 times more than anyone else’s.

The next day he comes back to me to say, “Matt thinks you have a problem with him. Damn “Dude”! You keep trying to engage conversations with me like you are the hired hand whenever my blog is out of touch. And why are you speaking for Matt? I know, you want to me to notice you. Sorry I don’t. Even with the muscles and tattoos, I don’t see you. OK, back to the story.

See, this is how you do your best to repair, and restore a relationship. In my next blog entry I state at the beginning, middle, end, and a few other times in between that, “ I do not have a problem with “Matt Hammond”. I also go on to state that I stand corrected that Matt is not only riding for B&J for the Season, but he is a part of the B&J Mtn Bike Team. I was wrong in thinking that Matt was not riding for B&J, and I corrected it from my part. Since dude is the spokemans for Matt and wants to prove to himself that he is brave, he came to me to say that Matt thinks I don’t like him, so I went out of my way to say I don’t have a problem with him. Weird relationship with this “Dude is starting to develop, and then I realized he gets his rocks off approaching me over anything I write.

Are you seeing the picture here? In the history of my blog “Dude” is the only person that has every approached me about something that I wrote. He was a habitual offender with regards to this, and I now know that he was only trying to start something, because every time he approached me before this season, he was speaking for someone else. Either he really cares, or he has a hard on for wanting to pick a fight with me.

That’s is clearing up the LaRue and Matt thing from 2007 that dude attacked me on in a text message in Nov 2009. Does that make any sense? To get attacked about something I wrote in 2007 in a text message in 2009? This has dysfunctional written all over it. “Dude” has a serious ax to grind, and not mentioning his name really set him off.

I think “Dude” feels left out because I didn’t mention his name, but at this point you can tell why I didn’t mention his name. I don’t want to engage with him, but he wants to engage with me. The question I have is “ Why do I matter to you, “DUDE”. Why do you even care about my blog? Why do you even care about what I write or don’t write? This is what I want to know about this “Dude”.

Let me make an attempt to dissect dude. He is a Cyclesdale turned Sport rider, 4 seasons off, back to being a Sport Rider, now Expert. He is sensitive about his performances, almost to the point of being insecure if he has a bad result. That is not a person you mess with, because there is nothing to mess with. This is the type of person that defeats themselves if the races don’t do it to him. The races will do this kind of person in faster than a bullet or a blog entry. You can’t fight with a course. You can’t send a text message to the Gun Range. You can’t pick a fight with a fireroad that has a headwing. If you say something to him, you only motivate him to make you the villain, and now he will have a target to rider faster. Now, he has picked this fight with me because I didn’t mention his name. It would have been easier to say that I don’t like the guy, and act like a nigga so we can throwdown next time we see each other. But the truth is, he is a harmless man to me. He is Passive Aggressive, and I don’t see this guy enough to wind him up to Aggressive. He is trying to whip himself into that Aggressive attitude using me as the catalyst. How sensitive can you be to send a person an angry text message because your name was not mentioned? Imagine throwing down over that crap. I will save keep the text messages in case we throwdown and I have to hit him with the “Patronus”, and I need to give the Po Po’s my side of the story. Having your name mentioned on my blog does not make you famous, nor does having your name not mentioned make you unimportant. That is going to change for him after this. I’m going to make him famous now.

If Mrs. P. is watching Fox News and I don’t like what I’m seeing, I pry the remote out of her hand and change the channel to Animal Planet. I don’t find myself getting angry at the migration of Canadian Geese. What I’m saying (Especially to this “DUDE”) is if you don’t like what you are reading, “CHANGE THE CHANNEL”. I won’t lose any sleep, and neither will you. Or better yet write your own thoughts down on something beside a text message. “Get a Blog Dude”………….That’s it, get yourself a blog and you can include or exclude whomever you want. You will have the power to write your own name down as many times as you want. That way you will never feel left out or less than whom you think you are.

I don’t have a problem with a friendship ending or whatever I had with “DUDE”. I’m not going to do it in a way that we are villains, and I’m not going to go out of my way to train to be faster than him, or to want to beat him. That is not what the spirit of competition is about. I want to be better than my competitors because I want to be better, and I will never let it come from another place.

I think “Dude” is going be famous after this. He does not want be overlooked, or have his name not mentioned. So when you see him on the line at the race, acknowledge him. Say, “ Good Luck” “Dude”. Trust me, he’ll appreciate it. When the 40+ riders catch him and need to get by, say “Dude, rider coming on your left”. Trust me, he will like that you are acknowledging him. When you see him at the park and he passes you and he is flying, say “Dude, you are fast”. His chain has dropped several times this season, and when you pass him and he is yanking his chain out say, “Bad Luck Dude”. If you are one of the people that have been in a battle with him, please let him know it was a great contest by saying, “Great Riding Dude”.

Dude, now you are famous. Now, all types of people all over the world will know about you. My blog got 250 hits a week in it’s hayday, and I’m going to leave this post up as my last post of 2009. I’m going to “Control” “Alt” “Delete” you, but now without giving you the fame and attention you long for. At least 1000 people will know who you are because of me. If they don’t know who you are, they will know how insecure you are. All types of people will call you dude to tease you. All type of people will call you dude that haven’t even read this post. People will call you dude, and when they do, you have me to thank, for I, Speed Pacer, a.k.a. “Slow Pace”, have made you famous and unforgettable. Famous for the reason of wanting to be acknowledge in another person’s story. And Unforgettable for being strong looking, bearing tattoos, riding on a 20lb bike, and just as insecure as a 9th grader on his first day in High School.

You wanted to be mentioned. You wanted to be acknowledged. You wanted to not be overlooked. Now, you have what you wanted. Good Luck managing your emotions when random people walking the earth calls you dude. “Dude”, you are never going to forget me now. Just remember, when you feel yourself raging at someone for calling you dude, you will have to admit, “Slow Pace” is smart.

I only have a few people programmed in my phone, Bounds, T-Wiz, Bob, Jorge, Adolfo, Big Wes, and a few others. I have never had to delete a name, but dude leaves me no choice. I now have “One Less Dude” programmed in my phone.

I’ll holla back at you in 2010.

Pacer Out

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Season over

Season Ending Injury

This is a long one, and it’s merited. First of all, I do want to send a warm thank you, high five, or hug to all the riders that contacted me during this time. I love this cycling community and I really do know who my friends are now.

Having a season ending injury is a bummer, a real bummer. This is the first time in my entire life that I have been laid up with an injury that has disabled me from being able to actually use my leg. I haven’t blogged in a long time because I have been doing videos instead, and since I’m stuck to my bed and bored as hell, I decided to break down my side of what happened.

So let me break down how it went down. Race number #5 of the FSC was at Oleta, and I was kinda happy that I was gonna be racing on a course that was flat. Historically, I have done better at this race than any of the other races as an Expert. I knew I still wouldn’t have a presences at the front, but I did expect myself to do better than the other races.

The start was a little tight for my liking, so I made the Executive Decision to get into the top 4 at the start. The main reason was it was virtually impossible to pass anyone for the first section of the course. I have held back on all the other races at the start because I’m not strong like to years ago, and I didn’t want to be the person to let a group get away because I was too slow. So with the factor of me doing my best at this course, and the course being really tight at the beginning made me get to the front.

The start went as planned, and I got in the top 4 with Luis and Adolfo in front of me, with a ZMotion Rider in front of them. As we went across the street I was nervous because the gravel rocks where coming, and it has always been hard to stay upright if you come in at the wrong angle. I got onto the gravel rocks right behind Adolfo, and this happened.


Someone slammed into my shoulder and hip, and I put my foot down to keep from being sideswiped. I had a really sharp pain go up my calf, but I was able to keep the bike upright.

My bike kept moving forward, so I made an attempt to put my foot back in the pedal and go forward, but my leg was hurting like a bitch. I thought it was a case of being hit so hard in the muscle that you have a cramping sensation, and those wear off after the adrenaline kicks in.



My leg was so paralyzed that I had problems putting it back in my pedal, and I went from 4th to last in a matter of 50 meters. Then I thought, “Great, just muffed up my good start”. I kept pedaling, and the more I pedaled, the more pain I was in.

I went into the first section practically pedaling with one leg, and once I got to the 1st steep climb I knew my leg was would not allow me to pedal up it. So I dismounted at the bottom of the climb, and the first thing I did was look back at my calf, and that is when I knew this was very, very serious.

There was a 3-inch gash in my leg about 2 inches above my Achilles heel. The blood was already gushing down my leg to my shoe. That is when Andrew Lee’s brother asked me if I need help because I was limping at this point. Carlos from ProedgeBiker and his wife Danielle jumped in to help me get back to the GoneRiding Trailer. As soon as Terri saw the cut, she said, “You have to go to the hospital bub”. Carlos gave me makeshift wrap to keep the pressure on the cut, and Mrs. P. came over with my car and went to the hospital, and this is what basically happened.

The cut went all the way threw my leg muscle, and cut part of my tendon.


I got 9 stitches,


a foot splint,


crutches,


and 30 days off my feet. It took about 3 hours, and before that time was up that I left the hospital I got over 25 texts, facebooks messages, or phone calls from riders concerned about my injury. What I did not get was “ANY” form of contact from the rider that did this.

I have become really good friends with all the Riders on my team which is Alex Bike Shop. Even their wives, girlfriends and other friends have contacted me to wish me well. Jorge and Adolfo have gone way out of their ways to stay in contact with me almost everyday to check my progress, and I forever thank them for that. I also thank the other riders that have contacted me by email, and facebook.

I was conflicted to talk about this, because this can be considered a touchy subject if it is not looked at objectively. But after more than 8 days I feel like the “Statue of Limitation” has come and gone and now I should discuss it. I guess my question for you to think about is if you were the cause of the accident, “Would you give a courtesy call”?

If you are a fan of my blog from 2007 & 2008, then the one thing you can say is I have a Pet Peeve about passing. “Noone”, and I mean “Noone” has ever had a problem with me letting them pass in a race. I have had some problems with riders letting me pass, and I won’t rehash it but all my peers have agreed with me on that issue, and that the rider in question really does lack sportsmanship. I never heard anyone confront this rider, and he pretty much went around unchecked. For that I lost a little bit of respect for some the riders in my category for not promoting fair play, but ultimately I have lost respect for the rider for not having “Strong Sportmanship”. To this day I have never rode with him when I saw him at any mountain bike park. I can only stand by my principles and integrity as an athlete and man, and the only way to set an example, is to “Set and Example”.

That is the same thing I’m conflicted with in this same situation. I keep trying to replay this incident in my head to see if there was something that I did wrong, or if it is a lack of respect. The reason that I put these pictures up was to paint a perfect picture to the objective eye, so that anyone with common sense could see that what appeared to have happened was an accident. In the 9 days since the accident happened, I have started to lean towards it being a lack of respect, in addition to it being accident.

The reason that my attitude has changed in this time was I never received any type of contact to see how I was doing from this person. I have to be honest in saying if I crashed into any rider, and I went on to finish the race, the first thing I would find out is if the person is ok. Everyone looks at the results after the race, and if you see “5000000” by my name it means I didn’t even finish the first lap. Listen, this cycling community is small and it had to get back that I got hurt, didn’t finish the race, went to the hospital, and my season is over because of this accident.

I really was hoping for a contact from this person, and it was not for my ego. It was to confirm my “Spirit for Caring” for another human. Mtn and Road Biking is my “Clark Kent”, and my “Super Man” is Professional Table Tennis. I’m a Certified Coach, and I make my living standing on my feet coaching table tennis to my clients. In addition, I have training videos that are selling all over the world. I still compete at the National Level, and Thanksgiving Weekend is the Biggest Team Tournament in the world, and I will be missing that now. Our National Championships is next month in Las Vegas and my participation in that competition is in serious doubt. If I do attend my performance is in direct doubt as I would have been off my feet for more than 30 days.

No riders racing the FSC are paid enough to make a living. We are all doing this because we are addicts to sitting in that saddle to see how much pain we can endure, while asking “Why am I doing this” at the same time. So, if any rider gets put out by an season ending injury, that injury will affect their life.

Most of my teammates know this rider, and a couple of them were really psst that he had not contacted me after more than 4 days. A couple of them were ready to confront him, but I urged them not to do it. I was holding out for a contact just to say “Hey, I’m sorry and I hope you are OK”. In this case most people’s attitude would turn from frustration to anger, and I can say that I have felt neither, and I will never allow myself to go there. I first felt nothing, because I do know deep down that it was an accident. After not being contacted, it went from having no feelings to sadness and lack of hope. I felt sadness because I felt like this person made a conscious decision not to contact me, and it did not hurt my feelings, it hurt my spirit. It hurt my spirit with regards to people that won’t make it a point to recovery or repair a relationship. I can’t get back this 30 days of not working. I can’t get back the form that I lost. I can’t get back the rest of the season I will miss. I can’t get back the experience of hanging with my teammates for the entire race weekend. I can’t get back missing the biggest Table Tennis Tournament of the year where I had put together a Dream Team. I will forever have this scar on the back of my leg, and I can’t get that back. There are a lot of things that I lost, and the only thing I did not want to lose was “Hope”.

Being contacted would restore any persons’ hope. This is all I could possible want for my spirit. He’s not going to pay my hospital bills, or repay me for the 1-month of work I missed. But a simple phone call would restore my spirit, and confirm to me that he really is saddened that this accident happened. So hope in this person is really what I lost, and a great question is, “Where does that take me now?” This puts the person exactly where I put the last rider I had a problem with.

Now, I’m back in the same situation of losing respect for another rider because of a simple human emotion………………..Courtesy. Courtesy is more than a word. If you step on a person’s shoe it is common courtesy to acknowledge that. How difficult is it to pick up the phone to offer something that says, “My bad”, “I’m Sorry”, “Hope you get better soon”, etc. In this world where there is so much chaos it can be very difficult to have simple principles, and it can be even more difficult to actually stick with those principles, especially when your spirit is tested. It is simple to stick to your principles, and in some cases it may seem complex. This is not one of those cases.

I can say with all honesty that this is rider that I will most likely never ride with again, EVER.

Pacer Out!